Parent Spot for Parents of Middle School StudentsMotivation, or the sudden lack of it, is a huge issue with
middle schoolers. It’s as if overnight your previously studious,
capable child seems to have become the slacker of the seventh
grade. This shift in attentiveness can leave parents puzzled and
looking for clues about what to do to get their child back on
track.
Why now?
For many students, the answer may be as simple as the fact
that they have entered a new and tumultuous phase in their lives.
Once they leave the cozy, contained elementary school
environment, students are hit with a host of challenges. Suddenly,
they have multiple teachers, each with their own set of
assignments and expectations. On top of this, they need to learn
how to juggle extracurricular activities, sports and budding
social lives.
Hormones kick into overdrive, hairstyles take on new
importance, and being an attentive student may suddenly seem
un-cool. It is no wonder why grades and ambition might take a
nosedive.
What parents can do
Obviously there is no magic answer to motivating your child.
For some children, underachievement may have roots that stretch
all the way back to the preschool years. For others, difficulties
stemming from learning disabilities may be intensified once they
are coupled with the challenges of middle school.
The key is to look at your own child’s case, decide whether it
is new or on-going, determine what other factors (such as changes
in the family or home environment) might be at play and then
tailor your approach accordingly. Teachers, guidance counselors
and support staff can be great allies in helping keep your child
achieving to the best of his or her abilities.
In the book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades (And What You Can
Do About It)", Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Ph.D., offers the following
suggestions that can help encourage your child to do well:
Have positive, realistic expectations
Remember to keep your views of achievement realistic and
positive (i.e. doing one’s best is more important than being at
the top of the class/winning the game, etc.). If you are uncertain
about whether you are expecting too much or too little, talk with
your child’s guidance counselor or teacher(s).
Be a positive motivation role model
When talking about your own work, emphasize the satisfactions
and frustrations that go with reaching a goal or finishing a job.
This is a great way to show your child that, despite the hard work
and occasional setbacks, achievement isn’t all drudgery.
Help your child get organized
Motivation can decline if a child doesn’t feel on top of
things:
• Teach your child how to use a day planner or calendar to keep
track of assignments and activities. Have your child use folders
or binders to store paperwork for each subject area.
• Make a space in your home where your child can do his or her
homework.
• Have your child keep all of the supplies he or she will need
to complete assignments in one location. A storage box with a lid
can keep pens, pencils, a calculator and paper together. Have your
child let you know if he or she is running low on supplies.
• Involve your child in developing a study routine. Together,
agree upon a set time for your child to work on school
assignments. For some students who are lacking motivation, a "work
first/play later" rule can be a good incentive.
Maintain a united parental front
Parents should be consistent when setting goals for their
child. If one parent sets goals higher than the other parent,
children are likely to choose the easy way out.
Allow your child to make decisions, within limits
Encourage independence without giving children more power than
they can handle. Parents should be in charge, although children
should be able to make choices and voice opinions.
Praise your child realistically
Use words that set goals they’ll be able to achieve. "Bright,"
"creative," "imaginative," "kind," and "hard-working" are much
more realistic than "brilliant," "genius," "smartest," and
"perfect."
Give your child lots of support and encouragement
Although the middle school years are a time when children
begin to crave more independence, they still need clear
expectations and understanding of what they are going through.
Your positive, patient support can be one of the best motivators
there is.
For permission to reprint this
article, please contact the Capital Region BOCES Communications
Service by e-mailing
dbushsuf@gw.neric.org.
<back